Perfect In Lima
by Litalover
Summary: Rachel kills herself and Britt takes it upon herself to write a blog post about it


It has been exactly two months since Rachel Berry killed herself and I am the only one who knows why. People think that she was just crazy. No one admitted to what really happened. Why should they? Everything is perfect in Lima Ohio and that's how it will stay. I may seem like the last person to write about it since I was a part of it all. I didn't hurt her but I didn't help her either. I was just there, blinded by love. The club I love killed a Star. Rachel Berry was going to be a star and if I just told Santana to stop, at least just once, a few years from Rachel would be in New York and become the star she was destined to be. Rachel was never crazy. She was real, more real than this whole damned town will ever be. Like I said, everything is perfect in Lima.

I guess I should start with how it happened. Finn had just dumped Rachel for the third time in September. It was different this time and it was. He had cheated on Rachel with Quinn, who just got back on the Cheerios. No one was surprised. They were the golden couple. I had saw Rachel crying in the choir room on my way to third. I should have stopped but I was with Santana so it was probably best that I didn't. Later in Glee, Finn was sitting with Quinn and Rachel was by herself. She wasn't sitting with Kurt or Mercedes because Kurt got mad at Rachel for getting the solo again. Kurt is so catty. I sat behind her with Santana, keeping an eye on her. Rachel constantly looked over at Finn but he was preoccupied with Quinn, which was totally gross. I wanted to tell her he's not worth it but who am I? No one. Mr. Schue came in and gave a solo to Kurt which was surprising. Not surprising that Kurt got a solo but that Rachel didn't fight for it. In Kurt's exact words," What's wrong Diva? Don't want the solo because Finny left you for someone worth living?" Everyone laughed. I didn't. Santana asked me why I didn't. I told her it wasn't funny and she rolled her eyes at me, as if I was just a child. Okay I may not be book smart but I know when something isn't funny. Rachel didn't rely and Mr. Schue said nothing. The bell rang and Rachel stayed in her seat. I followed Santana and looked back at Rachel. She was crying, again. San and I stayed behind for Cheerio practice and Rachel was leaving, but first she was met with Quinn and a slushy. Rachel looked as if she didn't care. She got in her car, still covered in slushy, and left.

The next day I watched Rachel. I knew she was going to do something drastic. She's a diva and I bet she wanted to be dramatic. So I walk with San to Glee and Rachel is already at the front, getting ready to sing. She told us, "I will be leaving this place today. I wish to leave you all with this." I had no idea that by place, she meant the world. Kurt, Santana and Mercedes booed and told her to leave already. She sang Concrete Angel. I cried. I didn't try to show it but I did. I knew what she was going to do. After she finished, she walked out of the room and I followed, ignoring Santana's calls. "Rachel please, you don't need to kill yourself to get away." Rachel turned and looked at me; her eyes were puffy from crying. "Britt, I'm sorry." That was the last time I spoke to Rachel. That night she took her life. I watched from across the street as paramedics surrounded her house. I cried for her, for her dads and for the evil that she endured. Big words for Blondie right? Yeah well since Rachel left, I have studied harder and my vocabulary is almost as good as hers was. Anyways that next day in school, everyone acted like nothing happened. So I walked into Glee, without Santana. I glared at Finn and Quinn. I didn't look at Mercedes and Kurt. I turned my back on Santana. I didn't even tell Mr. Schue what I was going to sing. I just did. I sang Without You. I tried to copy Rachel's intensity while the whole Glee Club stared at me in shock. When I finished Santana asked "Did you love Rachel?" I said no and told her, "Not like I love you but enough to not want her to kill herself." Tina came up and said "I would like to sing something for Rachel." As if she was asking me permission. I let her and she sang My Immortal. It was beautiful. I looked at the rest of the Glee clubbers and said these exact words. "I am in a room full of killers. You bullied Rachel into killing herself and no one will ever fess up. I quit Glee Club." I walked out of that room and I have never walked back in. Kurt has tried to talk to me and so has others. I will only allow Santana but and Tina. Tina, because she sang for Rachel and joined me at her funeral and Santana, because I love her. I don't let San talk about Rachel. She doesn't deserve to. Today I plan on going to Rachel's stone and sing to her. I will do that every month for now on because Rachel deserves it. I tell her how I have straight A's and will be the Valor Victorian. Its still hard knowing Rachel wont be at school. The news even said " Rachel Berry went crazy and killed herself. People say she had not token her meds.." and all that shit. But you know what they say. Everything is perfect in Lima Ohio.


End file.
